I am on a IVF 3 cycle (natural moderated) ‘Rest Month’. Next month should be my final collection month.
I left things on a cliff hanger last month. I was just about to go for my second collection.
Well of those five eggs – three were collected. Annoyingly I was unable to find out what exactly happened to the other two. But it seems likely that they were just not mature enough. Even more annoyingly, there was a problem with the delivery of my chosen donor and my three eggs were not fertilized on the day. Though it was confirmed that all remaining three were of a good size and quality to be frozen. So on my final cycle they will be thawed and fertilized along with any other eggs collected on that day.
Do I feel slightly better knowing that, at least I have three little eggs on ice? Hell yeah! I know they still have to go through fertilization and then implantation…. but I do feel better than I did at the end of my first cycle. And in this process I think you need to take your successes where and when you can.
So, where am I now? Well I think I just ovulated. Since I no longer need to track it, I can’t be absolutely sure…. but most of the other signs were present. Raised BBT, a change in CM, twinges (very much on the left side).
I don’t really know what it must be like for women going through full conventional IVF. I can still feel the drugs having an effect on my natural cycle…. and am pretty sure unprotected sex at the point would be seriously asking for trouble. I kinda feel like my ovaries are bulging with eggs, most, if not all the time. I guess every body is different and I’m hoping mine just needed an extra….. nudge.
meanwhile, I am learning to deal with the multitudes of babies and pregnant women around me. My work contract is almost finished, which will make life a bit easier. Also, I’m finding it helpful if I don’t confide too much in my work colleges about my treatment. I find people there want to know and are oh so interested. But in another second you realise they don’t really get what it is you are doing and say something unhelpful like …”can’t you have a baby with him?” or “so are you seeing anyone right now”
I think the existence of my blog is probably “out” but I have just said it’s for me. A safe cathartic place.
I follow someone on twitter who is also talking about the power and her own success rate of ‘putting things out in the world’ Things you desire to happen in your life…. and when you do the universe works its magic, I guess to make it happen. I suppose it’s really quite practical really. You make it clear to yourself and others, how much you want something and you and even others will then consciously/ unconsciously work towards that goal.
I’m not brave enough to put my deepest desire on my twitter feed, but its out there. Its printed on a piece of paper up on my wall… its written over and over again in my diary. And here. Here in this blog. For anyone to read.